- Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
- Tom: Knew what?
- Summer: What I was never sure of with you.
- *Tom's heart BROKEN*
I thought that old joke: this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, ‘Doc my brother’s crazy: he thinks he’s a chicken’. And, uh, the doctor says, ‘So why don’t you turn him in?’ The guy says, “I would, but i need the eggs’.
I guess thats pretty much now how I feel about relationships: you know, they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd. But, uh, I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs.” —Annie Hall
Taking their name from “brothers”, bros are a diverse group of desperate males currently populating American college parties and fraternities. They can be found attempting to increase their Facebook friend total by attending pretty much every gathering in existence. But don’t be fooled by the Axe spray and limited vocabulary, these mongrels have been known to be aggressive and obnoxious in a party environment. Fortunately, they can generally be subdued by a suggestion to “chill” or “mellow” out, considering their false bravado is only a thin veil to hide their numerous insecurities and perpetual need to be accepted.
You might be a bro if:
- You try to relate to other people on your campus through Family Guy or viral YouTube videos.
- For you, wearing a pink polo with a popped collar is the pinnacle of style.
- Despite a long history of great American comedians, you consider Dane Cook to be “the funniest shit, brah”.
- All of your favorite memories from college involve beer pong.
- You think Chuck Norris jokes are hilarious, and make sure to recite them regularly.